The Mean Girls Sequel: Lilly for Target!

OMG! They finally made a sequel to Mean Girls and it’s called Lilly for Target! You guys. The original Mean Girls movie (2004) is a true classic and I’m thrilled to report that Lilly for Target was worth the wait. Just like Mean Girls, Lilly for Target is seriously popular–which is just  another word for trending, right?

Quick Mean Girls recap: Regina George (Rachel McAdams) is the queen of the Plastics, the teen mean girl clique. For some reason Regina takes a liking to Cady Heron (Lindsay Lohan), who’s just arrived from 12 years of home schooling in Africa. (I don’t really see this happening because Cady is socially clueless and wears over-sized shirts that Regina would never go for but whatever.) So they’re friends until Cady falls for Aaron (cute guy who’s also Regina’s ex). That’s followed by all kinds of back and forth mean girl antics until finally, after hitting rock bottom, everyone sees the light.

Cady on the left, Regina George is far right. Followers in the middle.

Cady on the left, Regina George is far right. Followers in the middle.

We fans never thought there would be a worthy sequel. Until one day we awoke to the twitter chatter: Lilly for Target was out! And the reviews were… well, you’ve read them. Crazy, right? Here’s the full scoop on the show that has us all glued to our phones (spoiler alert):

1) Main character one: Lilly Pulitzer is the new Regina George. She’s, like, queen of the preppy people. And they don’t even know they’re subjegated, because she dresses and accessorizes them so well. Lilly got her start in Florida and now has high-end boutiques spread across the east coast and south. (Except South Dakota for some reason. So confusing.)

2) Main character two: Target is the new Cady Heron. Target’s like really cool in some ways (super nice staff, best housewares, accessories rule) but it lacks the consistent quality of, say, a high end Lilly-type. Like this shirt.

A Target shirt. Just Like Grandma's Nursing Home Couches, Circa 1994 Southwest Phase.

Target shirt. Like Grandma’s Nursing Home Couches, Circa 1994 Southwest Phase.

So you can see why Target is Cady–fun, charming, but not always with it. And yet: people like Target. Enough people to fill 1,800 stores.

3) The conflict: You saw it coming, right?! Lilly (the new Regina) was fine with Target (the new Cady) until Target innocently started messing with her special person–drum roll….the potential Lilly customer (yep, WE are the new Aaron/Regina’s ex)! Poor Target probably didn’t even know it was making Lilly mad by flirting and teasing us with all those awesome accessories at affordable prices. But Lilly notices everything. She saw how popular Target was getting with all kinds of people. And Lilly decided if Target was going to mess around with her people, she’d mess around with Target.

4) The revenge plan: So Lilly befriended Target. She said they could be a team. Yep, Lilly for Target = Cady joining The Plastics. Lilly swore if they hung out together–Lilly at Target’s house, best buds–the world would be more fun. Ha! As if. Because it wouldn’t be a show without a big old mess in the middle, would it? Which brings us to…

5) The hot messes:

  • Hot mess one: Lilly persuades Target to host an on-line party. Creates a really big buzz. And starts very late, when people would normally be asleep. Target doesn’t have a lot of experience with such parties (for the love of Pete, no one bring up Missoni). But Target’s nice and eager, so Target said ok. Bad idea. Because Lilly enlisted mean cyber girls, who kept emptying people’s on-line baskets and making that horrible colored wheel thingy spin on our computers. At 3:45 a.m., when it was too late for wine and too early for coffee. Things were seriously ugly in floral-clad homes across the nation.
  • Hot mess two: Target pushed back. Sometimes the site stayed up just long enough to buy an item or two. Things were looking better. Except Lilly for Target had a Plan B. She arranged for special store sale parties. At 8:00 a.m. ON A SUNDAY. That Lilly doesn’t mess around.
  • Hot mess three: So hoards of women, still recovering from the on-line debacle, drove and stumbled their way to Target. The problem? Lilly  told EVERYONE about this party. It was out of hand. There were endless lines. And party crashers: people who looked more like resale merchants than true Target/Lilly fans. Uh-oh. This is  like the part of Mean Girls when Cady kind of wanted mom and dad to intervene. Psst, Corporate: you’re mom and dad!
  • Hot mess four: What happens when a gazillion people flood a store with a VERY limited selection of specially priced Lilly items? Have you ever seen a preppy on crack? Forget Black Friday, Pink Sunday was seriously rough. Remember the watering hole scene in Mean Girls? When everyone runs around the mall fountain like wild animals? Yep, same scene, except at Target they were knocking over cardboard pink flamingo signs trying to get to the “giraffing me crazy” print pants. Word is that one mean girl sprayed her Chanel in another girl’s face just so she could grab the last x-small “boom boom” crop top  (the EMTs did say she smelled real good). Basically, the first 20 people had baskets loaded with like 50 things each, which meant the remaining customers ended up with pom-pom pillows. And i-phone 5 cases.

    Emptied. In three minutes.

    Lily for Target at 8:03 a.m.

6) The low point: Well, Lilly made her point. People got seriously mad at Target. Trust had been broken. Target burned not only Lilly’s friends, but also its own pals, the ones who liked the awesome printed scarves and funky chunky jewelry and cool picnic-ware that Target shared way before Lilly came along. So now everyone’s mad at everyone. And instead of #LillyforTarget, they’re all #LillyforEbay. Yep, Lilly jumped ship and is now besties with Ebay. Those pom pom pillows? Originally $25 each? People want $124.99 for the pair on Ebay. (NOTE: EBay seems to attract a healthy share of Mean Girls. Just saying.)

7) The (happy?) ending: Of course just like Mean Girls, Lilly for Target has to have a happy ending. Mean Girls ended with everyone confessing their meanness and embracing their true selves. One part I almost forgot: Aaron (the boy both girls were fighting for, played by us in the Lilly for Target sequel) goes off to college and wipes his hands clean of all mean girls. Kind of interesting approach. Because (attention, Lilly, Target and Ebay), we might take one last look at the “see you later” print (sold out on-line and in stores) and go find a new “happy place” elsewhere. Or maybe we’ll curl up in our over-sized t-shirts and  yoga pants and watch a good movie instead of shopping. You’re done with us, Lilly for Target? That’s ok, we’re done with you too. And don’t even get us started on that EBay chick. She’s just trouble.

 

 

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15 Responses to The Mean Girls Sequel: Lilly for Target!

  1. Dorothy April 20, 2015 at 11:09 am #

    hysterical!

    • Kristin O'Keefe April 20, 2015 at 12:26 pm #

      Thanks Dorothy! I was cracking myself up writing it at 2:00 a.m. (which is usually when I’m trying to buy Lilly for Target on-line anyway, so…)

  2. Aviva Goldfarb April 20, 2015 at 1:40 pm #

    You are so funny and creative, I don’t know where these late night wells of humor come from (I’ve never had one!) but please keep it up! So glad I missed the mayhem but could relive it through you.

    • Kristin O'Keefe April 20, 2015 at 7:16 pm #

      Thanks Aviva! I love when it all comes together and I’ve got a story. This one was so fun (to observe and write about). Late nights work when I’m into it–motivation is the challenge.

  3. Karen Berthiaume April 21, 2015 at 1:11 pm #

    You had me in giggles, Kristin! Boo #lilyfortarget! Great job!

    • Kristin O'Keefe April 21, 2015 at 3:14 pm #

      Thanks Karen! I’m still trying to figure out if they consider it epic failure or success?!

  4. Andrea Brenner April 21, 2015 at 1:24 pm #

    Hysterical!

  5. jeannie merrill April 22, 2015 at 6:51 am #

    So clever and hilarious! I didn’t stand a chance with this mayhem but it was fun to read about!

    • Kristin O'Keefe April 22, 2015 at 7:16 am #

      Thanks Jeannie! My teenager made me go, it was quite an experience. Not sure which was more surprising–hoards of tastefully clad women in a housewares scrum, or the fact that a teen voluntarily got up on a Sunday at 6:30 am. (And she was pleasant!)

  6. Mary Meagher April 22, 2015 at 2:01 pm #

    I am so glad that you are writing now. What goes on in that mind of yours must be shared. Such an amusing piece. So…did Anna score any Lilly and is she back to breathing?

    • Kristin O'Keefe April 22, 2015 at 4:02 pm #

      Thanks, Mary! It was seriously crazy, and yes, she got a romper–but only b/c she hovered around dressing room and got a cast-off! We also got some beach towels and scarves. And, of course, I found some great writing material (cost: priceless)

  7. Courtneyhallock@gmail.com April 23, 2015 at 8:23 am #

    oh my! Our 16 year old daughter is writing an essay “I thought a brain hemorrhage was traumatic until I experienced Lilly for Target”

    • Kristin O'Keefe April 23, 2015 at 8:47 am #

      Hey Courtney! Excellent title. I think you have a writer in the house. (NOTE: I would have missed the whole thing were it not for my teen. She was shocked that grown women would grab every single thing from the racks, even not in their size. Definitely a wake-up call to reality!)

  8. Terry Bierbaum April 24, 2015 at 7:34 am #

    Well written Kristin! You are such a creative writer! Have you seen a response from Lilly about this fiasco? Just wondering.

    • Kristin O'Keefe April 24, 2015 at 9:22 am #

      Thanks Terry! No personal response, I think they are doing some justifications in the media. In the end, they did get a big buzz, so who knows? Maybe it was good for them… time will tell.

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